She's JV to your varsity
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize