he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize