That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
