Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
