we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
