Banned from zoo.
Again?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize