I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
