Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
