I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
