Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The best revenge is premature balding
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
