You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
