got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
