ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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