dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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