Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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