the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize