can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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