Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize