Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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