she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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