We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
