My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
