The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize