I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize