I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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