it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize