How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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