she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
smell my finger.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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