I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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