they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize