I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think a kid would responsible me up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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