I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
