he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
