Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
