YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
