He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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