Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have aggressive nipples.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
