I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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