He is an equal opportunity slut.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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