I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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