FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
