life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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