you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize