Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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