As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
