dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
