You just made me feel so damn special
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
