this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
