We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
