Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
