just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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