CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
