Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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