so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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