I'm drive I can fine osifer
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
